Jokes and such

From [Soompi Forums]

the first two were summarized by robin...

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so a kid writes a letter to santa claus saying: "please send me a sister"

santa writes back saying "okay, please send me your mother"

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so there's this asian girl married to an american man and they live in california
the asian girl's a fob so she can't really speak english

but she had to shop for groceries

one day she wanted to buy a mutton leg but didn't know how to say it

so she went to the butcher and lifted up her skirt to show her legs

and she got what she wanted

the next day she wanted chicken breasts but didn't know how to say it

so she went to the butcher and unbuttoned her blouse to show her breasts

and she got what she wanted

the next day she wanted sausages but didn't know how to say it

so she brought her husband along to the butcher's

what happens next?

[backwards]
hsilgne skaeps dnabsuh reh
vrep uoy

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10 ways to freak out your roomate. this is my fav:

Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."